I’m listening to a song titled Building on Broken Pieces. The lyrics mention how we can pull together what we have, trust in God, and move forward in His grace. It reminds me of the command given to the church in Revelations 3:2 to “strengthen what remains.”
Perhaps this is the encouragement you need to keep moving forward in your marriage with a spouse who has shown contrition, and is begging you for another chance. Are things perfect? No. Can you undo the past? No. Has all your pain been removed? No. However, you can build on broken pieces, and trust God to give you beauty for your current marital ashes.
If you’re willing, God will help you build on broken pieces.
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Wife in pain
May 28, 2012 at 5:53 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My ex-husband and I really don’t have issues that draws us to say split! But I have two issues with him, 1. He doesn’t support me when I want to discipline our kids! I am the disciplinarian and he’s really not home during the week b/c of work, so I am here. Second is, how to I get him to remarry me? This issue makes me want to say I want to leave.
Kevin B. Bullard
May 28, 2012 at 10:47 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wife in Pain, there’s no easy answer to your question. However, your comments seem like you have one foot in the door and the other out. It sounds like you need to make up your mind what you want to do.
Connie
May 28, 2012 at 6:31 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This is what I am going through right now. i have been begging my husband for one more chance to save our marriage. I have been praying and asking God to help us make it through this together and stronger than ever. I love him. we have been through a lot in our 23 years of being together. I do not want to lose him.
Kevin B. Bullard
May 28, 2012 at 10:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Dear Connie, we will pray for you. God hears your prayers. We’ll pray he’ll soften your husband’s heart.
Seeking a Second Chance
May 28, 2012 at 7:22 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I, too, am in that same boat Connie. I have made some mistakes in my marriage and have confessed those wrongs, asked for forgiveness and a second chance to get it right. My husband is very wounded and hurt. He may be willing to forgive but the reconciliation is where he is not budging. Only God can change his heart on that. I am in prayer daily about the state of my marriage and I have faith that His will is what will be done.
Kevin B. Bullard
May 28, 2012 at 10:48 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
We’ll pray for you, also. God is able to work miracles, and we pray he’ll work in your husband’s heart for His glory, and for the health of your marriage.
Hurt
May 30, 2012 at 10:51 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Talk about broken pieces, my considered husband did the wosrt wong doing ever, he cheated!
I’m hurt wounded and sometimes think I can’t get passed that, I still love him but I wish he could understand where I’m coming from.
Kevin B. Bullard
May 30, 2012 at 2:53 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Is you husband open to hearing how you feel? Is he repentant?
Loren
June 19, 2012 at 4:50 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My husband and I have been through a lot & we have seperated & are now back together trying to make our relationship better. We have been together for 17 years. My problem is, he is quick to point the finger at me & I have done wrong in the past but I am giving him 100% of me today and have been that last 12 months. My problem is FB. I asked if he was friends with females he didnt even know, females that are single & enjoy the party life. He said yes he was, and that it wasnt a big deal since he doesnt talk to them. I cant fathom this toxic mentallity & feel this can be a cause for me to be done with him. Am I over reacting?
Loren recently posted..How to Motivate Your Spouse
Kevin Bullard
June 19, 2012 at 6:09 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Loren: I don’t know your husband’s tendencies, so i cannot tell you if you’re overreacting. My suggestion is that you tell him WHY you think his actions are harmful to the marriage, then back off. Pray, and give God space to work in your husband’s heart. Your words and actions during this time will either draw him to you or repel him. Pray for God to work in his heart. Though you may not see it immediately, God hears and answers prayers.
Kevin Bullard recently posted..How to Motivate Your Spouse
Loren
June 21, 2012 at 4:02 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Ironic? On the day I first asked for advice (19th) my husband came home from work due toa severe back pain. Wednesday morning he woke up & couldnt move, I had to rush him to Urgent Care, which was not easy considering the pain he was in, we even considered paramedics. He is now going to have an MRI done. I put my life in God’s care and when I do wrong I pray or repent, & always ask for forgiveness. Thsi trial, has come is such a challenge to me as well as very painful to my husband. It hurt me when he looked at me & said if he didnt know any better he would think I wished this upon him. I may not liek his actions but I didnt wish this. Nor do I think God works to do harm. However, my husband is agnostic, and I am 110% faithful to God. Was this a lesson, you think?
Kevin B. Bullard
June 22, 2012 at 4:21 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Loren: Perhaps it was a lesson. From my view, a wise person can use anything as a lesson. If your husband is agnostic, it stands to reason that he’s going to think thoughts that violate your beliefs about Godl
hurt and wounded
June 27, 2012 at 5:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I am trying to make my marriage work and pick up the broken pieces.But,it is so hard because my husband cheated on me and a baby was produced.I found it,because the woman called me and told me.We are in counseling,right now.However,I get upset after each session,because the counseler keeps pushing for visitation with this baby and I am just not ready for that and I don’t know when or if I will ever be.But,the dilemma is my husband wants to be in this babies life,but still wants to keep it a secret from both of our families.It angers me,because I am having to endure this pain and he wants to get his way.Be a father,but hide it.NO one knows about any of this,but us and I need help as to what I should do.I have prayed,but I am still so angry and I don’t want anything to do with that baby.I know,the baby is innocent.But,I still feel how I feel.Help,I need guidance.
Kevin B. Bullard
June 29, 2012 at 1:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Hurt and Wounded: Very difficult situation you describe. This post may help you out: http://mymarriageworks.org/2012/04/13/what-to-do-when-an-affair-results-in-a-child/
tenia tucker
July 26, 2012 at 4:25 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My husband and I have been married for three years. We have our problems like any other couple but he has decided to separate from me. Its really painful for me because I offered to go to counseling and he doesn’t want to. He says he doesn’t like me or my personality. I love him so much and we have three small kids I wish they didn’t have to go through this.
Kevin B. Bullard
July 26, 2012 at 7:11 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Tenia – that’s terrible news to hear. Are you able to get him to agree to a limited separation where he plans to come back home after you both get some counseling or other intervention?
tenia tucker
July 27, 2012 at 4:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Right now I can’t get him to agree to anything I even discussed the videos you have about love and respect tried to get him to watch them but he won’t. I have begged and pleaded but nothing I say to him will matter. I am just going to back off for a while, keep praying, and hope he comes back so we can work on our mariage.
Kevin B. Bullard
July 28, 2012 at 1:29 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I think you’re doing the right thing. You cannot make people do what they don’t want to do. At this point, it seems all you can do is live the life (1 Peter 3:1-6). It’s not always fun nor fast, but it does have God’s grace and blessing upon it.
Waiting and waiting
October 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Thank you for this blog. My husband and I have both cheated during the span of our marriage…he filed for divorce, but since having me served, he has agreed to give us a chance to “start over”…and see where this leads. I have been flat on my face many times the past few months for restoration. The waiting is brutal, but I know God has done a work in me, and wants to do a work on him. Please pray for us and our family! We have two broken kiddos on our hands. Thank you!
Kevin B. Bullard
October 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
We’ll pray with you that God will continue to work on you, and that your husband will give Him space to work in his heart, as well. God longs to bless your marriage, and we’ll pray that He’ll be given the opportunity to do so.