While it’s easy to know if you’re having a physical affair, it may not be as easy to discern if you’re having an emotional affair. Here are a couple of signs you should look out for:
- When most meetings and conversations are kept secret from your partner.
- When you say and do things with someone you never would do in front of your spouse.
Read this article to see if you’re involved in or close to an emotional affair.
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Jen burton
February 5, 2013 at 9:27 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I remember my moms physical affair and she was afraid my youngest sister wasn’t my dads. They had been divorced in 1996 due to a car accident resulting in my 6 yr old sisters death. I was 10 when this happened and the affairs began way before the accident. My parents remarried each other and I kept quiet. I honestly didn’t really want to remember. Now as an adult with my own child, I’m starting to have problems with dealing with that part of my life. My mom mentally abuses my dad and makes comments like ” your overweight, it’s so gross keep your shirt on” “I made a mistake marrying you again I’m so unhappy with you” she makes fun of his family and talks down to him constantly. My dad was venting the other day and asked if she had eve had an affair… I didn’t no what to say so I said no but i could tell he knew i hesitated. He ended up questioning my mom and saying I told him and she got angry at me and lied about it all. So now my dad won’t talk to me, my mom called me and said we don’t need to see each other for awhile because her and my dad are doing great and want their space. And my 18 yr old sister is still at home and isn’t allowed to talk to me. What should I do? Come clean to my dad about everything. I know feel as if this was all my fault! Please help. I have no one to talk to.
Kevin B. Bullard
February 6, 2013 at 3:14 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Dear Jen — it’s unfortunate that you, once again, find yourself lodged between an issue that you do not (and should not!) have control over: your parent’s marriage.
My counsel to you would be to pray for your parents, yourself, and your sister; and give your parents space to work out their own issues. The more you intervene, the more likely you are to bear the weight of their relationship and decisions.
Good can come out of this, but I sense you need to back off and let your adult parents handle their own marriage and issues.
After all, you’d hate to be like the man who stumbled upon a lion trapped in a snare, then out of kindness and concern released him only to be eaten as a thank you.
Weeping Wife
February 8, 2013 at 4:04 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
We’re dealing with this now. On July 4, 2012, my husband handed me his cell phone to talk to my Dad. While we were talking a text message came through and when we finished our call, the message popped up on his screen. It was a very suggestive message. I admit that at that point, I scrolled back through all of the messages between him and this woman. My husband insists that the relationship was never physical . . . despite the messages that appeared to say otherwise. I forgave him, because I love him, but told him he needed to stop communicating with this woman. He said he would, but noted that he might have to speak to her in a professional category because she was a co-worker.
Fast forward a few months down the road. I’m not sure what made me suspicious this time, it was just a feeling. I’m not proud to admit that I picked up his cell phone with the deliberate intention of checking to see if he was still communicating with this person. . . he was. Not in a professional way, either. She was also no longer a co-worker because he started a new job. Once again, I explained that his continued friendship with this woman was disrespectful to me and our marriage and it needed to end. Once again, he promised it would.
On Monday, I looked at the cell phone bill in detail, based again on my suspicion and found that he talks to her almost half the time he is on his cell phone, but never in my presence. At this point I am devastated and heartbroken. I know the Bible teaches there’s no such thing as too many times to forgive the same behavior, but I’m not sure how to move forward from here. I have shed so many tears. Wednesday I picked up an Apartment Guide to find a place to stay. I was crying so hard trying to look for a place to stay, I couldn’t see the pages.
The crazy part is that I know without doubt that I still love my husband, no matter what he’s done. I just wish I felt he loved me as much as I love him. Part of me wants to just leave, but part of me can’t bear the thought. I don’t know what to do. Please pray for me.
Kevin B. Bullard
February 9, 2013 at 8:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Your love for your husband sounds real. It now needs to be mixed with some counseling for you and your husband regarding his actions. Have you two considered going this route? You have forgiven him, as you should. Now it’s time for him to become accountable for his actions.