True accountability is bottom-up, not top-down. In other words, it’s up to the spouse being held accountable to turn the light on and reveal their secret dealings. While there’s no easy way to this, here are some suggestions to help make the process more bearable and effective:
- Confide in someone of the same gender who will lovingly correct you, and keep your secret.
- Confess everything — even the most damaging parts.
- Offer up information willingly rather than waiting to be asked.
- Talk regularly with the person holding you accountable.
- Share your victories just as much as you do your failings.
Have more suggestions? Let me know!